Sokol, Julia

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SOKOL, Julia

PERSONAL: Married.

ADDRESSES: Home—New York, NY. Agent—c/o Author Mail, M. Evans & Co. Publishing, 216 E. 49th St., New York, NY 10017.

CAREER: Author.

WRITINGS:

WITH STEVEN CARTER

Men Who Can't Love: When a Man's Fear Makes Him Run from Commitment (and What a Smart Woman Can Do about It), M. Evans (New York, NY), 1987.

What Really Happens in Bed: A Demystification of Sex, M. Evans (New York, NY), 1989.

Lives without Balance: When You're Giving Everything You've Got and Still Not Getting What You Hoped For, Villard (New York, NY), 1992.

He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships, Delacorte Press (New York, NY), 1993.

Men Like Women Who Like Themselves: (and Other Secrets That the Smartest Women Know about Partnership), Delacorte Press (New York, NY), 1996.

Getting to Commitment: Overcoming the Eight Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (and Finding the Courage to Love), M. Evans (New York, NY), 1998.

Help! I'm in Love with a Narcissist, M. Evans (New York, NY), 2005.

Contributor to periodicals, including Cosmopolitan, Glamour, New Woman, and Mademoiselle.

SIDELIGHTS: Julia Sokol has written a number of books with Steven Carter on the subject of relationships and commitment, some of which have been serialized in Cosmopolitan. These include their first, Men Who Can't Love: When a Man's Fear Makes Him Run from Commitment (and What a Smart Woman Can Do about It), in which they describe situations in which women find their relationships unrewarding and also provide tips on the kinds of men to avoid.

Men Like Women Who Like Themselves: (and Other Secrets That the Smartest Women Know about Partnership) includes advice against making snap judgments when meeting a new man and the recommendation that a woman look at him not only as a potential partner, but also as a possible friend. The authors advise that, in beginning a new relationship, it is best to stick to safe, nonsexual topics. They also recommend that a woman be herself and remember what is important to her; she should not become obsessed with how her date might view what she perceives to be her physical faults.

In Getting to Commitment: Overcoming the Eight Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (and Finding the Courage to Love) Sokol and Carter advise that commitment comes in small steps and write that "old choices, old habits, old fantasies, old programs, old language, old doubts, and old fears" can sabotage budding relationships. Catherine T. Charvat wrote in Library Journal that the advice contained in this volume "would be as useful to young people contemplating marriage as to the older single adult."

Help! I'm in Love with a Narcissist emphasizes the dangers of falling in love with someone who is incapable of sustaining a give-and-take relationship. A Publishers Weekly contributor noted that neither Sokol nor Carter are therapists and that they write based on anecdotal evidence rather than academic research, but added that this is done "in very accessible language."

BIOGRAPHICAL AND CRITICAL SOURCES:

PERIODICALS

Library Journal, November 1, 1998, Catherine T. Charvat, review of Getting to Commitment: Overcoming the Eight Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (and Finding the Courage to Love), p. 114.

Publishers Weekly, October 26, 1990, Genevieve Stuttaford, review of Men Who Can't Love: When a Man's Fear Makes Him Run from Commitment (and What a Smart Woman Can Do about It), p. 61; May 6, 1996, review of Men Like Women Who Like Themselves: (and Other Secrets That the Smartest Women Know About Partnership), p. 60; October 18, 1998, review of Getting to Commitment, p. 62; December 20, 2004, review of Help! I'm in Love with a Narcissist, p. 49.