I WAS A DOCTOR IN AUSCHWITZ

Memoir by Gisella Perl, 1948

Before the Nazi invasion of Hungary, Gisella Perl led a rewarding and successful life as physician, wife, and mother. Trained as an obstetrician and gynecologist, she worked alongside her surgeon husband, operating a hospital in Sighet. The Nazi invasion of Hungary ended her days of normalcy.

Her memoir, I Was a Doctor in Auschwitz, is brief but unforgettable. Each of the short chapters conveys striking portraits of Nazi oppressors and those they persecuted. The book was first published in 1948.

The opening chapter, "Dr. Kapezius," sets the stage for all that follows. Perl's life is transformed into a labyrinth of suffering, defined by unpredictable and cruel twists and turns, where nothing is what it seems. In December 1943, as the German army was suffering heavy losses on the Eastern Front, Perl is visited in her office by an erudite and charming German physician, Dr. Kapezius. Overcoming her suspicions, Perl invites him to spend an evening at her home. Kapezius seems a reassuring reminder of German culture and humanity. His eyes fill with tears when Perl recites the poetry of Heine and Lessing, and he is lavish in his praise following a violin performance by the Perls' gifted son. Kapezius reminds the family that not all Germans are Nazis and urges them to keep up their courage, for one day soon the war will end.

Five months later, in Auschwitz-Birkenau, Perl, torn from her family and stripped of everything she owns, encounters Dr. Kapezius again. The veneer of civility is stripped away, and he is unmasked as the monster he is. A colleague of Josef Mengele, Kapezius compels Perl to become the camp gynecologist. It is a cruel assignment, for Perl receives neither medicine nor instruments. Yet she saves lives, with compassion and conversation as her only tools.

This opening vignette presents one of the themes of the memoir: in a world gone mad, things are not what they appear. Normal values are turned upside down. Perl, who had treasured the moments when she could bring new life into the world, becomes a secret abortionist, killing babies to save their mothers' lives. A bag of diamonds has value only when it can purchase three uncooked potatoes; women entering the hell of Auschwitz receive flimsy party dresses that barely cover their bodies. A piece of string to tie one's shoes becomes the difference between life and death, and Perl must decide how high a price she will pay for that piece of string.

Perl's memoir recounts acts of kindness as unforgettable as the episodes of cruelty. Conversation functions as a healing balm; margarine is rumored to be a miracle drug. A smile brings a desperate prisoner through another day. Auschwitz through Perl's eyes is a land of extremes, oppressive heat and bitter cold, unfathomable cruelty and extraordinary compassion.

While the book centers on the author's experiences in Auschwitz-Birkenau, it also recounts her struggle to survive when she is torn from her friends there and sent first to Berlin, then to a labor camp near Hamburg, and finally to Bergen-Belsen. The theme of cruel contradiction continues. Had Mengele permitted her to remain with her patients in Birkenau, she would have been liberated months earlier. When she arrives at the train station in Berlin, dressed in rags and with her number upon her coat, people turn away from her as if she is a murderer, but, as Perl knows, these seemingly normal people are the true criminals.

Even liberation is not what it should be, an experience of unmitigated joy. For with freedom Perl receives the devastating news of the death of her husband and son. Overwhelmed by grief and bereft of hope, Perl, who has survived so much, now chooses suicide. She is rescued and brought back to the land of the living through the kindness of a young Catholic priest who ministers to her as she has ministered to so many others. Kindness once again becomes the antidote to poison.

Perl's memoir contains few dates to guide the reader. Yet that seems appropriate. When Perl enters Auschwitz her striking wristwatch, which Kapezius had admired at her home, becomes his possession. For Perl time loses all meaning; only the struggle to survive another day matters.

—Marilyn J. Harran